Monthly Archives: March 2006

Too much information?

Did you know Perez Hilton blogs 6 or 7 times a day? What’s up with that! I can’t even be arsed to blog 6 or 7 times a month. Must try harder.

I went to the hairdressers yesterday and my god that bloke is a bloody legend (and cheap). Check me out, what with my hair and sunglasses I am slowly becoming Italianised.

And, as if you needed further proof that I have nearly shaken off the last vestiges of Englishness, behind me you will see the bidet in my bathroom and yes I use it and no not for washing my feet.


Ah life

So many un-answered questions…

Can ice skaters actually hear the music they ‘dance’ to? If so why are they ‘dancing’ to a completely different piece of music?

Why do shops never stamp the guarantee card in your mobile phone box? I’m guessing it’s so that when your mobile phone breaks you have to go to the shop, who send you to the service centre, who send ya right back to the shop to GET the GUARANTEE CARD STAMPED.

Why do babies shit 30 seconds after you have put on the clean nappy?

Why is it OK for the woman across the hall to leave her smelly bin bag outside the door because she pays someone to collect it (noisily at 3 in the flaming morning) and I can’t do the same because Stef takes mine down?

One of those days I’m afraid.

Rebel & B Girl finally see another bit of Italy

We went to L’Aquila, the ‘capital’ of Abruzzo, last weekend. Very picturesque city, lots of winding cobbled streets and fab churches. I never realised Abruzzo was so beautiful, once you get out of Pescara that is.
As usual though we arrived at 4pm, we never get up before midday at the weekend, so we missed the market which I really wanted to see. Nonetheless a lovely day was had by all, I even had a cup of tea and a biscuit, a right treat on my strict diet regime.

…and yes, before you say it, I am still wearing sunglasses even though the street lamps are on and it’s quite clearly dusk. What can I say, I’m practically Italian now…

Bitch me up or how many times can you use bitch in one post

I spent my 30 minutes free time yesterday reading some new blogs and I thought I’d share them with you.

First up Bryan Boy: Le Superstar Fabuleux who has a unique take on life in the Philippines.
Warning this site is for serious fag hags only, so if you are in anyway offended by hardcore shopping, partying and gay sex don’t go there and then come back here bitching at me for leading you astray! Baboosh!

If you’re on a diet then why not indulge in some food porn? In my opinion nothing beats cup cakes photos, I now get my fix at cup cake bake shop . I am so making all of these when I’m off this bitching diet.

I know this has been in my blog roll for a while, but if you haven’t seen it you must check out Go Fug Yourself . These girls are heartless bitches who rip the famous to fashion shreds. Don’t hate them for just saying what we’re all thinking.

Lastly a very beautiful expat blog Le Petit Anglaise, yes lots of the usual expat bitching, but she does it so wonderfully it really gives me something to aspire to.

rabbia di la strada

Today I had a very close brush with a very angry motorist.
I’ll be honest I wasn’t having a brilliant day, school, students and B Girl had already been getting on my tits.

I was about to stop to get petrol when this guy started blowing his horn behind me on my moped. Normally in Italy you just ignore this since it happens like what? every 3 minutes… but this time I turned around and gave him the finger.
He then proceeded (are you getting this down officer?) to follow me into the petrol station, where he got out of his car, stormed over to me, very red faced, and shouted (in Italian)
‘what did that gesture mean?’
at this point I couldn’t help myself
‘it means swivel’ I shouted back in English,
(his face got redder),
‘cosa?’ he shouted (what in Italian)
‘don’t you speak English?’ I politely asked
‘cosa?’ (face now blue and teeth bared)
‘sorry if you want to shout at me you’ll have to do it in English, I don’t speak Italian’
he then took his sorry ass back to his car since it was clear that either he would have to punch me or let it go. I’m soooo lucky he didn’t punch me!
Oh and did I mention he was wearing a toweling headband…

a very short, slighty xenophobic rant

God ebay annoys me. I’ve been selling some stuff on behalf of my cousin and now I’m having an email row with some mad French woman about the cost of postage. Looks like neither of us is going to budge and she is becoming more and more obnoxious. Stef says this is typical of dealings between the English and the French.
Maybe he’s right…but you know what? now I think about it…do you know what really bugs me about the French?
Their use of exclamation marks at the end of every sentence!

Domestic Goddess

Why bother buying teething biscuits when you can rustle up your own at home?

That’s why.

finger food

B Girl has started to eat finger food.

Go on B Girl you have to kind of grab them with your fingers…

…that’s it now pick it up…

…brilliant, now can you get it in your mouth?

Why yes you can! But hey you do it so fast mummy can’t get a photo.., oh well done B Girl give yourself a round of applause.


Ok after last weeks carb blow out, when I ate 10 doughnuts in one sitting, I have decided it is time to get rid of this excess baby weight.

So I’m dieting. Now this is hard for me anywhere but as you can imagine it’s practically impossible in Italy. Not only is food very, very good here, but calories aren’t listed on the side of packets, in Italy most food does not come in packets.

…and just to add insult to injury it seems that the better the food, the higher the calories. Today I was happily munching through my 40gr of prosciutto crudo (ham raw) thinking (according to my English calorie counter) that I was consuming only 60 calories worth of ham. I have since found a website in Italian which lists the calorific values of Italian food and yes, you’ve guessed it, Italian ham is four times more fattening than English ham.

The only thing keeping me sane at the moment is coffee. It tastes good, stops you eating and an espresso with sugar only has 16 calories per cup.


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